May 10, 2011

Day Two

I’m easing in.  One of the things I loved about an old favorite teacher was his posture - his humble really-I’m-just-like-you attitude.  That’s how I’d describe Dr. Jody Cross.  He speaks to us, not above us.  He has a casual gentleness about him that makes it easy to listen and absorb information.  And with the heavy theology study out of the way we get to the dirt and this is where I am being filled.  This is where I sense change.  This is where I begin to say, okay, I get it, I see why I am here.  
He enters with a backpack slung over his shoulder, half a bag of microwave popcorn, jeans.  We talk of planning, preparation, prayer.  His authentic passion is inspiring.  And terrifying.  How am I ever going to make these changes?  How will I ever get from A to B?  How could there possibly be two more days of this much more information?  
My brain is melting.
A whole semester crammed into four days.
Who’s idea was this anyway?
Work has begun on the group practicum.  I love my group.  All women.  All sweet.  All feeling as insecure and inadequte as myself and there’s something beautiful in that symmertry.  
A movie theatre dinner and a big screen distraction to rest our brains. 
And back to the dorm.  To the ugly walls.  To the plastic mattress.  To the leaking tap and ticking baseboards.  I can’t imagine that people really call this place home for years.  
I miss my kitchen.

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