When my post was featured on a popular site for women bloggers I was over the moon. I didn't consider what exposure to a mass readership would mean except that, just maybe, it was a new avenue to promote my writing. I was wrong. Horribly, depressingly, grossly, sick to my stomach wrong. Not about readership - I certainly gained some of that. I'm talking about judgement. Of me. As a person. As a mother. And it makes me feel ill. And it makes me feel like it would never be worth it to let the world beyond this tight little circle of dear friends read a peep. Because I'm used to people liking me. I'm used to being supported. I am not used to perfect strangers attacking my credibility as a parent. I don't understand what might possess one woman to trample the integrity of another. I almost feel like crying but those damn blood suckers would call me melodramatic! And the worst is, if I pursue this kind of publication, this is only the beginning. It'll just get meaner from here. BUT WHAT GIVES THEM THE RIGHT??? I couldn't imagine using my very precious free time to tear down the character of someone bold enough to share a piece of their story.
To be fair, there were very lovely, supportive comments and I'm immeasurably grateful for them. I just HATE that they're overpowered by the ugly.
I guess what I really need to say is thank you. To you. You few who follow faithfully and encourage exponentially and keep your judgements quietly and sweetly to yourselves. Thank you. It is only because of you that my bubble hasn't burst.