Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I Love My Job [But I Have Dreams]

When you sit across from your boss at your annual performance review and he asks you about your goals and where you see yourself in five years you should probably answer with some profound intention of moving to full time and increased responsibility and expanding your knowledge of your field and bettering the workplace by your contribution of X, Y, and Z.

But I didn't.

I think I hesitated for a moment, a little tickle of fear...this could be a nail in my coffin...but honesty can set you free, right?

"In five years?  I want to write.  If we could afford it.  If I didn't have to work.  I just want to write."

So there it is.  Just like that.  And as I said it I knew it was my absolute truth.

I love my job.  I have amazing creative freedom, great opportunity for growth, and I'm part of a team that believes in me and values my influence.  We've fought our way back after a hell of a year and it didn't occur to me to walk away.  I am blessed.  I don't want to leave.  I mean, look at us...




...we're a bunch of dorks loving what we're doing!

He didn't shoot down my response.  He didn't label it a pipe dream and drop it like it was meaningless trash.  He invited me to live in it.  To shape my current position to better accommodate my passion for words.  To give a platform to practice my craft and hone my skills and actually do a better job at my actual job by doing it.  Creative Communications.  Writing should fit there like a pea in a pod.

Did I say I was blessed?

When I win the lottery I will tender my resignation.  Then I'll volunteer to do all the fun parts of my job for free on my own timetable: website, graphic design, social media management.  I'll sleep in until 8 and read until 10 and write until dinner which will be served to me in a rose covered pergola by my personal chef, Giles. 

I have never purchased a lottery ticket.  I suppose my chances are just slightly lower than one who does.

4 comments :

  1. I'm guessing by boss you meant Jason right? I love that guy :D I love all the HMC staff! I'm super thrilled for you Alanna that you're gonna make this happen. Life is too short!! You can do it, I have 1000000% faith in you! I just want a first edition of one of your first non-self-published books okay? Signed too ;)

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  2. I love this posting and your writing style. This is the antithesis of my most recent job experiences.

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  3. Virtuous Woman Exposed, I think sometimes I get 'dream drunk' with my big plans - but hey, without dreams what do we have??? ;)

    Aidan - Jason is a wonderful ally for anyone pursuing their gifts. We are lucky, lucky, lucky, to have someone like that as our leader! As someone I consider my personal cheerleader and writing advocate you can bet on a signed copy whenever that day comes. I sometimes depend on your encouragement - it means so much to know another sentimental, romantic sap believes in you and your dreams. I only hope I am as much of an encouragement to you in your pursuits as you are to me!

    Cassie - that breaks my heart! I've only just begun to read through some of your experiences and can only say that it reaffirms how lucky I am to have found myself in the job situation I am in. I wish you continued healing and peace! Thank you for your compliment and encouragement!

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