1. If cleanliness is next to godliness then he is certainly the devil's minion. And. He. Doesn't Even. Care.
"Zander, you need to clean your room."
"But I know right where everything is!"
Yuck! If you come to visit, you'll know why his door is closed.
2. He stinks! There's no other way to say it. And. He. Doesn't Even. Care.
"Did you put deodorant on, Zander?"
"Did you really put on deodorant, Zander?"
"Zander, did you really put deodorant on?"
"No." *Rolls eyes, hangs head, stomps back upstairs*
3. He is merely months away from having personal permission from Mark Zuckerburg to join Facebook and he refuses to let me forget it.
"Mom, can I get Facebook?"
"Do you have armpit hair?"
"Then you can't have Facebook."
4. He does not speak English. Instead, he communicates using strange words like 'enderman' and 'creeper'.
"I don't even know what you're talking about, Zander."
"Minecraft, mom," [Duh!]
5. He loves me more than pretty much anything (except Minecraft) but doesn't really want me to know it.
"Hug me, Zander."
"Because you love me."
"I do?"*squeeze him until he grunts and giggles*
[NaBloPoMo Day 9]