Sunday, November 10, 2013

If Spiders Could Scream, I'd Be Deaf By Now

Arachnids are pure evil. They're like a cigarette manufacturer or a terrorist. They're organized religion on eight legs.”
Davey Havok, Pop Kids 

I don't know what it is about this house but they love it here.  My mom told me: they're always here - you can't ever really get rid of them.

And she wasn't kidding.

There are big ones and smalls ones - the ones around the faucets and the ones up in the ceiling corners.  There are the ones that lower themselves in front of the television and the ones that bring Noa creaking from her bedroom late at night whimpering, "There's a spider that's really bothering me!"

For clarity's sake, I need to assure you that I am not afraid of spiders.  Two nights ago I did backpedal myself until I was flat against the headboard when a HUGE beast hung himself right down over my book but that was only because he took me by surprise - and then I got angry - and then I became hateful - and then I turned his ugly body into artwork much like a lovely pressed flower.  Hate and fear are far removed when it comes to my feelings surrounding things with eight legs.

I must average three kills a day. I am no frightened Miss Muffet!  No, this girl can defend! My specialty lies in drownings but I have been known to use a vacuum, a Kleenex, a shoe, a log, and yes, even a hammer!

You'd think they'd get the message.

Move on, Daddy Long Legs, this is my castle!

I've always been kind of a Batman girl anyway.


[NaBloPoMo Day 10]

4 comments :

  1. Gotta say, you are braver than I am! I had a spider in my house last evening and luckily had a friend coming over who does not share my fears. I just about screamed though as she calmly let him crawl onto her hand before setting him free in the night - I'm shuddering even thinking about it :)

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    1. She's way more compassionate than I am! I go for the kill every time!! Nice to have a friend come to your rescue though :)

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  2. A girl after my own heart, Alanna. I go for the kill too. With kleenex, towel, shoe, whatever's handy. I was also good at sending the mice who had made my house their own years ago.

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    1. Glad to hear it! Us girls have to brave up and take a stand against the nasty invaders! ;)

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