Tuesday, August 25, 2015

How To Survive Your Husbands Trip To Vegas

So your husband is going to Las Vegas. How wonderful for him. {Did that come across as sarcastic? Because that's what I was going for - sarcasm - which I will deal with promptly in point #1 so please don't hold it against me!}

I slept alone last week as the Vegas strip was blessed with the footsteps of my other half. He flew down to join his friends who were competing in a pool tournament. I struggled a bit with the whole thing but I'm happy to say I made it through - we made it through - and I'll pass along a few tips that might help you should you ever be faced with the same...

How to survive your husbands trip to Vegas - SelfBinding Retrospect by Alanna Rusnak

 1. Get over it - so you weren't invited...who cares! 
Easier said than done - believe me, I know. When he told me his plans I went through all five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and {finally} acceptance.

  • Denial: He told me in normal conversation - just tossed it in as we were out for a walk - just threw it out there like it wasn't a big deal...and I was all mmmhmmmm and oh, I see. This is a character flaw/reality of mine - I am slow to process and while I may seem all on board when you present your initial idea it's only because my brain doesn't know what to do with it until I've spent some time alone. Which leads to...
  • Anger: I am not an angry person. I'd rather call this stage jealousy - because though I was angry the decision to go to Vegas was made without me I was even more envious BECAUSE WHY NOT ME??? WHY CAN'T I GO ON A TRIP TOO??!!  
  • Bargaining: Okay, you can go...if you sell your studio equipment...if you only spent X much...IF YOU TELL ME YOU LOVE ME AND PROMISE TO TAKE ME TO ITALY BEFORE I'M DEAD!!!
  • Depression: Poor me...
  • Acceptance: He's going. I can't change it. I'm not going. I can't change that either. And I don't even want to go {because it's with all his friends again and even though they're lovely people I just don't want to give them another week of my life in a city I've already seen}.

2. Be encouraging - not condescending. Tell him to 'be safe' instead of 'don't be stupid'. I may have called after him, "make good choices!" when all I really needed to say was, "I love you." 

3. Stay away from the following movies: The Hangover, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Get Him To The Greek, The Hangover III...and the list goes on and on...because you just don't need those images in your head!

4. Stop imagining things.  Those movies get watched because they're over the top. He's a grown man. Chances are he's not going to do most of the things you've seen on the big screen and it'll do no good picturing him waking up in a trashed hotel room as he's being pooped on by a monkey in a wedding dress.

5. No news is good news.  He's on vacation. He's not going to text you back the moment you message him. Relax. He's fine. He probably just has to wait until he has access to WiFi.

6. Trust him.  Because what good comes from distrust or fear? If you can trust him at home {and I hope you can if you're married to him!} then you can trust him no matter the distance between you.

7. Revel in the missing.  Do you miss him? What a gift! Tell him! We're coming up to our seventeenth anniversary and you'd think I'd be fine without him for five days but good gracious did I ever miss his face {and his butt and his voice and and and...}

8. Send him racy photos.  Remind him why he misses you! I've never been one for such things - I had this ridiculous fear he'd show them to his friends...but #6...and so I did and he was like 'Damn!' and I was like *blush*

9. Be available when he returns. You're over it, right? {#1} and you've trusted him {#6} and missed him {#7} so listen to his stories, laugh with him - don't be mad that you missed out, be happy that he had such a fun time. Still jealous? That's okay! Just send him another photo and remind him that he HAS TO TAKE YOU TO ITALY BEFORE YOU DIE!!!


My final word of advice?

Worry just a little and love with all you've got. He's a grown man and he's the one you chose - so stand tall, believe in the best version of him and you might just be surprised to find it shining through.

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