Friday, October 2, 2015

Why Non-Writer's Will Never Understand You

Why non-writer's will never understand you #write31days Alanna Rusnak
 
Dearest Writer,

You're weird. You just are. There's no getting around it and there's no use trying to convince anyone differently.

You're weird. The end.

You see the world through a prism while everyone else is looking through a single pane of glass. You capture nuances that are invisible to a non-writer and you see your life as a narrative in which you play the main character. That's weird.

You spend a lot of time alone, lost in a world that doesn't really exist. What your non-writer friends don't understand is that your own fiction can sometimes feel a million times more real and relevant than something happening right in front of your face. That's weird.

Your idea of a fun evening is ten new pages written in your pajamas. That's weird.

A non-writer will never understand that when you write, you are pouring out your very heart, you are BLEEDING ONTO THE PAGE and that sometimes you cry because arriving at the perfect sentence can actually hurt and the pain of writing can farm grey hairs and lost hours. That's weird.

What they don't understand is that something that takes them three minutes to read could have taken seventeen hours to be birthed from your imagination and onto the page. They don't understand that it is your life spilled out before their eyes and they don't understand how much it hurts when they shrug and say, "it's alright." Because it's not alright. It's either GARBAGE or it's PERFECTION! You don't accept a middle ground. You're not satisfied with so-so. You already spend so long stewing in self-doubt that you either need that doubt affirmed so you can quit or you need to be pulled out of the mire with superfluous praise. That's weird. And ridiculously needy. And weird.

You don't care that you're not making money. Well, you care, but not enough to stop because THIS IS WHO YOU ARE - IT IS NOT WHAT YOU DO. And so you keep your day job and dream of not having to and you fill your spare hours with something that feeds your spirit but doesn't feed your bank account. That's weird.

You're weird, writer. You're the strangest creature I know. They'll never get you just as they'll never get me. All you can hope for is that someday, they'll read your heart upon a page and a light will go on and they'll say, "Ahhhh...I see...this is why...thank you...this is where you spilled your blood for me..."

Until then, I remain your partner in heart and weirdness. 
May you always find the words, even when it hurts. 
 http://selfbindingretrospect.alannarusnak.com/2015/09/challenge-accepted-write-31-days.html 
{click the image above to see all the #write31days posts}

4 comments :

  1. Definitely speaking to me now...WEIRD and NEEDY!

    Those are words I OWN!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Just two of the reasons we get along so well! :)

      Delete

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