Friday, February 12, 2016

Love Languages {or Valentine's Day is Stupid}

At some point during my formative years there was a Love Languages movement that plummeted the shores of this great continent, a near tsunami of pure wisdom that would surely end all war and stitch together every rift that a couple might encounter. I mean, you couldn't get away from it and people swore to high heaven that it—that knowing the 'language' of those around you—would make life smooth and lovely.

why valentines day is stupid - love languages

Words. Acts. Gifts. Time. Touch.

Yeah.

Isn't that just...common knowledge?

We are, each of us, created to be unique beings; therefore, we have been created to express and receive love differently.

Duh.

Valentine's Day is not a love language.

Pardon me, but if you need a calendar to assure you that you are loved then you're doing love wrong.

Love is not words. It is not acts or gifts or time or touch. Love is a choice. It's a daily grind. It is saying yes every single second.

Yes, I will love you. Yes, I will love you. Yes, I will love you.

Love is not romantic. It is not flowers or blushes or extravagant trips to Europe or candlelight or foot rubs or sexy text messages.

Do you annoy me? Sometimes.
Do you stress me out? It's happened.
Are you the epitome of human perfection? Heck no!
Do I love you? HELL YES!

Love is not a warm feeling in your belly. It is not soft and dreamy. It will not sell millions of tickets in a box office. It is not perfect.

Love is showing up. Every time. Even if it hurts. It's about hanging on. It's about thick and thin and better or worse. It's all the things and it's one thing. It's the thing. And it's the best thing...even when it's the worst.

So offer sweet words, kind deeds, thoughtful gifts, devoted hours, gentle touches...whatever it is that speaks to the heart of your partner but don't for one single second think that those gestures define love. Every one of those things can be accomplished without showing up—really showing up. Be in and of the moment. Your presence—your whole presence—is the only thing that matters.

Don't let Valentine's Day trick you into thinking one day will define the worth of your relationship. It takes every day to do that

And it is my hope that everyday you're able to say, YES.

Yes, I choose to love.

Because 'yes' is worth it.

4 comments :

  1. Will you get flowers on Sunday?

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    1. Ahahahahahahaha! ;) ...in all seriousness...gift-giving has never been an important part of our relationship. I never minimize it when it happens but I never expect it either...or need it

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  2. Well. Okay then. I'm not a huge fan of the love holiday myself. It seems stupid, and it just adds unrealistic pressure to life. You seemed to take an aggressive stand in this post. Love to know what was driving it?

    Cheers! - To chocolate every day!

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    Replies
    1. Rest easy, my friend. I wasn't feeling aggressive when I wrote this...it just kind of came out that way ;) I suppose I have little patience for people who define their worth by a partner's response to a particular day. And YES! Chocolate every day!!!

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