November is over.
I do not have a 50,000 word novel.
I do have a new minivan, but that's a sad story for another time.
If you're connected to my Facebook page, you'll know I started NaNoWriMo off strong.
{And if you haven't connected with me there, WHY? And go do it! It affirms my existence!}
{And if you haven't connected with me there, WHY? And go do it! It affirms my existence!}
I was actually ahead of the NaNo curve until Day 13—where I crashed and burned and tried to get over all that crying I'd been doing—and after that, I just couldn't get it back. Not because I didn't want to, and not because I didn't believe in the story I was telling, but just because sometimes a wall appears in front of you.
Walls suck. We don't like them. We speak against them. We call them names.
Like 'Stupid Wall'.
BUT...
...what if some walls are erected to protect us? What if each brick is a lesson, and each lesson can push us to be the better version of ourselves?
They teach us humility. Surrender. Self-awareness. They teach us that no matter the height or breadth, if you look hard enough you just may find a window.
I built The November Wall all by myself and I lovingly mortared it with pristine cockiness. {You can't buy that stuff in a can. It grows like putrid mould over your soul.}
- Prep a novel for a proof-printing? Sure!
- Manage the social media/marketing ends of my author site and my magazine site? No problem!
- Have the second issue of Blank Spaces ready for release on December 1? Totally!
- Attend a Gilmore Girl's Year In The Life binge-viewing party? Obviously!
- Begin the preliminary background work on a project I can't talk about yet {oooooo, intrigue!}? You bet!
- Face and complete every day-job-project presented to me in top form? Piece of cake!
- Write a 50,000 word novel? Child's play!
Except...NO!
Because WHO DID I THINK I WAS?
And where is the window? That one I promised could be found in any wall...?
Oh, it's there. It's tiny. It's a little glimmer. And graffitied over it in hot pink spray paint, it says 'Know Thyself, Idiot!'
Sigh...
Sure, I want to do it all. I want to do it all and still have energy left over to be a good mom and wife and cat owner. {Poor Pippin, there were times during the month when I would have loved to spray paint 'Idiot' on his back in hot pink...thankfully I learned to respect the wall before those ugly feelings filtered over to my children and husband...but still...poor Pippin...}
So, I failed NaNoWriMo. But I did attend that Gilmore Girl's Year In The Life binge-viewing party, so November was basically a win!
Also, by failed, I mean I wrote 32,526 words, I launched my magazine on time, I maintained my day-job, and my children still like me.
Every window is made of silver-lining. Sometimes you just have to scrape off the poor-me-grime.
What did I learn?
I learned that I have a limit. I learned that spreading myself too thin makes me feel sad. I learned that it's about the journey, not the destination. I learned that everything is Donald Trump's fault. I learned the importance of setting boundaries for myself and abiding by them. I learned that Loralie Gilmore started drinking more scotch than coffee and that's why the reunion shows weren't so great {#TeamJess and #RoryIsLame}.
Where will I go from here?
I will prioritize my tasks and set goals that make me feel successful.
I will read more.
I will keep seeking those 50,000 words at my own pace.
I will drink better coffee. {So long Folgers! #TeamLuke}
I will be nicer to my cat.
So what about you? How was your November...?