The Truth About My Garden

1:31 PM
The Truth About My Garden - SelfBinding Retrospect by Alanna Rusnak
So there's this girl and she's so pretty that if you look at her straight on you'll get dizzy and she's looking at me like I'm precious.  "You have a garden?" she practically squeals, "That's the cutest thing!"

And I remember that she's born and bred city and that yes, it is positively darling that I would sweat into soil and reap fresh rewards come harvest, isn't it?!

Except that I'm TERRIBLE at it.

And my terribleness is cause for great embarrassment.

Because my mother is AWESOME at it. And this was her land long before it was mine. And I have lazied it up by being too busy with other things.

I want to be a gardener. I really do. And I love the dirt of it and the excitement when that seed breaks ground and the taste of the first cherry tomato and how it bursts in your mouth like tiny fireworks of summer flavour...

But I'm TERRIBLE at it.

And the weeds. Oh, the weeds. I am so ashamed and I don't know how to be redeemed without a weed-whacker and a dump truck.

I have good intentions too. I map it all out before the last snow is gone and I know where the carrots are going and that I'll build a twig teepee this time for the peas to climb and it's all good until it's finally planted and then...

I'm just too busy with other obligations and I just can't find the time AND I AM NEVER GOING TO BE AS MUCH OF A SUPER HERO AS MY MOTHER!

So, now that I've had two full seasons of failure to meet the lowest standards of gardening standards, I have to face the truth and make a new plan.

The Truth About My Garden - SelfBinding Retrospect by Alanna Rusnak

REDUCTION.

As of this moment, my darling garden is scheduled for major reconstruction surgery.  Because it doesn't make sense to try again because I know myself too well.

I'm going to liposuction those dirt saddlebags, reduce that bulbous nose into a sweet little slope, tummy-tuck the excess out of that potato plot...I'm going to leave myself room for tomatoes and herbs and peas and to the rest: SAYONARA!

I feel better already!

Sorry mom.

7 comments:

  1. I'm not a gardener either. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heidi EastmanSeptember 08, 2014

    Let's assume gardening ability skips a generation and our kids will be awesome at it! (Grandma is the exception to the rule obviously).

    ReplyDelete
  3. feel no shame... my hubby does it all the garden and the flower beds.. my i have fake plants and they look so sad!

    ReplyDelete
  4. dave got in Mr. Brown to till the ground... Him and the kids started plants indoors late winter and got them to help plant in the spring.. he and ben weeded it.. i have harvested it all summer and he will then do what needs to be done in the fall.... ask him.. I am not a gardener.. i can kill fake plants... the garden is dave's happy place...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a whole team! That's what I need - unfortunately, nobody else in my home has a gardening passion and I'm more inclined to foster passion than forced labour ;) It's tough because I really do want a full, lush garden but in the long run I think I'll be much happier with a little one that produces just enough to satisfy that need for fresh grown goodness without making me feel overwhelmed. And who or what is Mr. Brown?? I think I need his help!

      Delete

I love comments and I appreciate, consider and read each one. I welcome your thoughts, whether you're in agreement or not; however, this website is a happy place and I will remove any comment that I believe to be inappropriate, malicious or spam like.

Monday, September 8, 2014

The Truth About My Garden

The Truth About My Garden - SelfBinding Retrospect by Alanna Rusnak
So there's this girl and she's so pretty that if you look at her straight on you'll get dizzy and she's looking at me like I'm precious.  "You have a garden?" she practically squeals, "That's the cutest thing!"

And I remember that she's born and bred city and that yes, it is positively darling that I would sweat into soil and reap fresh rewards come harvest, isn't it?!

Except that I'm TERRIBLE at it.

And my terribleness is cause for great embarrassment.

Because my mother is AWESOME at it. And this was her land long before it was mine. And I have lazied it up by being too busy with other things.

I want to be a gardener. I really do. And I love the dirt of it and the excitement when that seed breaks ground and the taste of the first cherry tomato and how it bursts in your mouth like tiny fireworks of summer flavour...

But I'm TERRIBLE at it.

And the weeds. Oh, the weeds. I am so ashamed and I don't know how to be redeemed without a weed-whacker and a dump truck.

I have good intentions too. I map it all out before the last snow is gone and I know where the carrots are going and that I'll build a twig teepee this time for the peas to climb and it's all good until it's finally planted and then...

I'm just too busy with other obligations and I just can't find the time AND I AM NEVER GOING TO BE AS MUCH OF A SUPER HERO AS MY MOTHER!

So, now that I've had two full seasons of failure to meet the lowest standards of gardening standards, I have to face the truth and make a new plan.

The Truth About My Garden - SelfBinding Retrospect by Alanna Rusnak

REDUCTION.

As of this moment, my darling garden is scheduled for major reconstruction surgery.  Because it doesn't make sense to try again because I know myself too well.

I'm going to liposuction those dirt saddlebags, reduce that bulbous nose into a sweet little slope, tummy-tuck the excess out of that potato plot...I'm going to leave myself room for tomatoes and herbs and peas and to the rest: SAYONARA!

I feel better already!

Sorry mom.

7 comments :

  1. I'm not a gardener either. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heidi EastmanSeptember 08, 2014

    Let's assume gardening ability skips a generation and our kids will be awesome at it! (Grandma is the exception to the rule obviously).

    ReplyDelete
  3. feel no shame... my hubby does it all the garden and the flower beds.. my i have fake plants and they look so sad!

    ReplyDelete
  4. dave got in Mr. Brown to till the ground... Him and the kids started plants indoors late winter and got them to help plant in the spring.. he and ben weeded it.. i have harvested it all summer and he will then do what needs to be done in the fall.... ask him.. I am not a gardener.. i can kill fake plants... the garden is dave's happy place...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a whole team! That's what I need - unfortunately, nobody else in my home has a gardening passion and I'm more inclined to foster passion than forced labour ;) It's tough because I really do want a full, lush garden but in the long run I think I'll be much happier with a little one that produces just enough to satisfy that need for fresh grown goodness without making me feel overwhelmed. And who or what is Mr. Brown?? I think I need his help!

      Delete

I love comments and I appreciate, consider and read each one. I welcome your thoughts, whether you're in agreement or not; however, this website is a happy place and I will remove any comment that I believe to be inappropriate, malicious or spam like.

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