May 7, 2013

A Lesson In The Real World of Internet Publishing

I suppose I was wildly naive. 

When my post was featured on a popular site for women bloggers I was over the moon.  I didn't consider what exposure to a mass readership would mean except that, just maybe, it was a new avenue to promote my writing.  I was wrong.  Horribly, depressingly, grossly, sick to my stomach wrong.  Not about readership - I certainly gained some of that.  I'm talking about judgement.  Of me.  As a person.  As a mother.  And it makes me feel ill.  And it makes me feel like it would never be worth it to let the world beyond this tight little circle of dear friends read a peep.  Because I'm used to people liking me.  I'm used to being supported.  I am not used to perfect strangers attacking my credibility as a parent.  I don't understand what might possess one woman to trample the integrity of another.  I almost feel like crying but those damn blood suckers would call me melodramatic! And the worst is, if I pursue this kind of publication, this is only the beginning.  It'll just get meaner from here.  BUT WHAT GIVES THEM THE RIGHT???  I couldn't imagine using my very precious free time to tear down the character of someone bold enough to share a piece of their story.

To be fair, there were very lovely, supportive comments and I'm immeasurably grateful for them.  I just HATE that they're overpowered by the ugly.

I guess what I really need to say is thank you.  To you.  You few who follow faithfully and encourage exponentially and keep your judgements quietly and sweetly to yourselves.  Thank you.  It is only because of you that my bubble hasn't burst.

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  1. AnonymousMay 13, 2013

    They do suck - but there are so many more sending kindness out. I thought it was a lovely piece of writing. Hope you can shore up your boundaries because it would be a shame if you didn't send more pieces like this into the world. All the very best :)

  2. Thanks so much for your kind words! I'm working at building up a thicker skin - I think that's a requirement to make it in this world!

  3. Hello! I found your BlogHer post in my ad sidebar. I rarely click those but the title called out to me, since I have a just-turned-five-year-old daughter and share your concern. I thought your writing was brilliant and was planning to write a comment below it, but then I noticed the Internet trolls beat me to it. Sorry you had to deal with that. I've been writing online for a few years and had the same experience once when writing about how I was worried my daughter was becoming too obsessed with beauty. Someone called me a hippy freak and told me I probably stunk. As in LITERALLY stunk. It made me laugh but still, how dare they? It's a downside in the world of blogging, but I hope you stick with it since you have the knack. Sharing is caring, right? {HUG}

  4. Oh Justine, you're one of the good ones ;) thank you for your kindness and for actually taking the time to lift a stranger out of a poor-me puddle! I appreciate the term 'internet trolls' - perhaps that image will help their troll-like comments roll off my back. Hugs right back at you!!

  5. I agree. The internet is a tough place. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do. I found your post on BlogHer, then discovered this one. I know exactly what you mean. Have trudge through it my fair share as stories share further... As far as your post, I thought it was a great story about a mom processing through something of that nature. I also want to add, now, knowing your daughter is 4... she is just beginning on her journey. Behaving as a bully is different that BEING a bully. This is a critical leraning time for her. My opinion is modeling gentleness and compassion is just what is needed to develop that in her. I also know that stories like this cannot reflect the entire story... so those who reprimanded/judged your for not doing/etc... though I don't know you, but based on your broken heart over this, I am certain that hug was not the end. Thank you for sharing. Your skin gets thicker, but it can still sting... Keep loving and molding those kiddos.

  6. Thanks, jennyonthespot! Your encouragement means the world. People tend to take things way out of context (or take them at face value with no consideration of the whole context) and I need the reminder that I am the only one who knows the whole story and need to stand firm in my own decisions and actions as a parent. And I agree with you, behaving as a bully is very different than being a bully! Thank you for your kindness- even though you don't know me ;)

  7. I read some of those comments and I know that everbody is entitled to their opinion...but no reason to be hurtful. I thought you wrote absolutely beautiful...and it made me search for your blog. Keep it up...the world needs more hugs!

  8. Thanks for stopping by, Heather! You're right - opinions are absolutely okay - meanness is not! I wish every comment was written like a hug - thanks for yours!


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